Learning To Love Again
by John Thatcher
Summary: Every couple I saw reminded me of all my failed relationships. Every failure slowly draining my ability to love, until I was convinced I could not love anyone ever again. Ulrich's POV. More summary in the first chapter.
1. The Spark

**A/N: This story is A/U, the Lyoko Warriors are around age 19, and I hope you enjoy it. Although this chapter is short, the rest of the chapters will be twice as long. Please review, it really means a lot to me .:)**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 1:

The Spark

The cafe where I worked was situated on a dock over the Seine River in Paris. On the other side of the dock, was a year-round carnival. I liked the crisp, night air. The beautiful neon lights that covered the rides and stands were mesmerizing. The smells of the many different kinds of food vendors of the carnival, the various scents of the people around me filled my nose and caused a warm feeling in my chest, and my stomach growled. I have heard that people in America joke that people in France smell bad, I just don't see why they say that.

As I sat at table 14, my usual table, I watched the people that occupied the carnival as they passed by the cafe. Most of the people were couples. From the young couples holding hands for the first time, to the elderly, who had loved the same person for decades and had been through the good and the bad with them. I envied them. Every couple I saw reminded me of all my failed relationships. Every failure slowly draining my ability to love, until I was convinced I could not love anyone ever again.

For the first few months after I had realized this, I had become a emotionless shadow of the man I once was. I had no emotion, no sadness, no anger, no happiness, I was just there. But with the help of my friends, Odd, Jeremy, and most of all Yumi, I was able to heal, at least partly, although my friends had thought it was a full recovery. I could once again be angry, sad, even happy to an extent, but my ability to love was still missing. After awhile, my friends would try to set me up with random girls, but I could not bring myself to love them, and ironically I was the one who do the friend-zoning. I just didn't feel what I called "the Spark". The Spark is the feeling I got, almost a literal spark when I saw a girl and I would feel warmth throughout my entire body, always causing me to blush. I had last felt the spark on September 4th, 2011 when I had seen Brittany, a red-haired beauty that I thought would become my wife. Just hearing myself think the name again would send a cold, numb feeling through my heart. But little did I know, that would soon change. Tonight I would again feel the spark. Tonight would be the start of an adventure that I would remember for the rest of my life.


	2. Who Is She?

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 2:

Who Is She?

It was on that fateful June night that I saw her. She had bright pink hair, smooth pale skin, and she was smiling at the lights along the pier as she walked toward the Ferris wheel. The Spark hit me again, and my heart immediately began to race, a warm feeling overcoming the coldness I was previously feeling. She was dressed in a pink skirt, with a yellow v-neck, her was short and barely touched her shoulders, she was beautiful. My breathe escaped me, my throat tightened and I could feel a shout starting from my lungs, but I could not let it out. "I must talk to her!", I thought to myself. I sprang out of my seat and began to run in her direction. I sprinted past groups of people, even knocking some out of the way. All I could think was "I must find her". After a few seconds, as I got close to the Ferris wheel, I became worried. I could not find her. I threw my head in every direction possible, scanning the crows for just a glimpse of her pink hair, but with no success.

A terrible thought dawned on me. "What if I had just imagined her?", I asked myself. "No, that doesn't sound right, this has never happened before! She must have just went somewhere else, or something!", I answered myself. The cold feeling began to return to my chest, but I blocked it with my need to find her and began the search with a new vigor. For the next two hours, I looked all over the carnival, checking the rides, making sure she wasn't on any of them or waiting in line for them, checking all the food stands, all the fun houses, but she wasn't there! I then gave up and slouched up against the wall of the cafe, letting myself sink to the ground, tucking my knees close to me.

"Oh man! What is wrong with me?!", I asked no one in particular, a little too loudly as a customer sitting at a table near me gave me a weird look and returned his attention to his e-tablet. I rested my head on my knees, cursing myself. "Maybe I really did only imagine her", I thought to myself. "UGH!", I exclaimed as I sat up and began to walk home. I pulled out my headphones and plugged them into my ears, turning the volume up to its highest setting, hoping to drown in the music and help me forget what just happened. It had worked for awhile, until I got about halfway back home and I saw her again, she was about 50 feet away, across the street from me, heading in the same direction that I was. "I knew I wasn't crazy!", I whispered out loud and began to run towards her. I ran across the street, barely dodging the incoming traffic, hearing brakes screeching, honking, and someone yelling "Oi! I'm driving here!" as I ran. I got about 20 feet away from her when she took a turn onto a different street.

"I'm not going to lose her this time!", I encouraged myself and began to run faster. I rounded the corner, hoping that she would be right there, congratulating me for catching up to her, as if we had been playing a game. But all I was met with was disappointment, as she had disappeared again. My breathing was ragged from all the running, and a pit began to form in my stomach, making it even harder to breathe. "I'm losing my mind", I said solemnly taking another look at the empty street before, "Damn it!", I slammed a fist into my thigh, tears began to form in my eyes. I stood up, finally having caught my breathe, I turned around, ducked my head and began again on the path back home. I plugged my headphones back in, but this time it did not help, as the pit in my stomach grew the closer I got to home.

10 minutes later, I was walking through the front door of my house. Well, the house that I shared with my friends Odd and Jeremy. Odd was asleep on the couch, snoring loudly, his sleeping form covered in the light from the TV that was still on. Despite myself, a small, halfhearted laugh escaped me as I walked over and turned the TV off. He must have been waiting for me to get back from work, but fell asleep in the process. I began to slowly make my way up the stairs, seeing Jeremy's door open, I took a peak in to check on him. He was hard at work on his computer, on what I had no clue, but he made good money doing it, and most of it was too complicated for me to understand so I mainly just nodded and smiled when he talked about it.

I crept into my room. Martial Arts, football, and Royal Marine posters and items almost covered the walls and furniture. I changed out of my work clothes, and climbed into the shower. I just stood there with my head under the steaming water as I leaned against the wall, the water masking the warm tears that were flowing down my face. I dried myself off and got into my bed clothes, the whole time, thinking about that pink haired girl that I saw. "Was she real? She keeps on disappearing before I can get close enough to talk to her." I tried to come up with explanations as to why this was happening to me, but they all made as much sense as the situation itself did. I finally made it to my bed. All I wanted to do at this point was to sleep. Half of me wanted to dream of her, but yet my other half did not.

I closed my eyes and dreamed, about her. The dreams gave me mixed feelings of happiness, and dread. The last question I remember asking myself that night rang through my mind throughout every dream...

"Who is she?"


	3. Bad Luck

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! :D You guys made my day, you have no idea! Thanks again!**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 3:

Bad Luck

I woke up the next morning, my body well rested, despite all the terrible slash awesome dreams I had the night before. My soul however, felt heavy. I had never felt this way before. I loved seeing her in my dreams, hell in some of those dreams I could even smell her! She smelled of strawberries and green apples and cinnamon, it was a different kind of scent, but it made my heart melt. The smell had faded, and I wanted so badly to see her again. Then again, doubt still lingered in my mind on whether she was actually real or not, forming a pit in my stomach. This roller coaster of pure elation and depression was going to be the death of me if I did not fix it soon. I couldn't dwell on the situation, as it would only make it worse, plus I didn't want Odd or Jeremy to know about this.

Today was Saturday, so that meant all the whole household was off work today, a pure coincidence we called it, the thought always made me chuckle a bit. I was usually the first one up on Saturdays as I liked to go for a run every morning while the sun was rising. I made my rounds through the house just like I did every morning, checking on my friends. I had always felt very protective of them as I was the strongest of us. First was Jeremy's room, Jeremy always got up at 0700 like clockwork every day, and I peeked into his room, he was still sound asleep. When it came to Odd however, he liked to sleep in past noon so he was going to be out of commission for awhile, but I checked anyway. There he was sprawled all over the bed, snoring loudly. I smiled slightly as I shut the door, his snoring no longer reverberating down the hall.

I made my way down the staircase toward the front door. I felt the glass window on the door, checking the temperature, and it was perfect. I was the only one I knew who tested temperature this way. Everyone I knew thought it was ridiculous and didn't make sense, but it was effective nonetheless so I continued to do it. I opened the door and was welcomed by a warm, early summer morning. A slight breeze blew through my hair and I inhaled deeply. "This is going to be a good run", I thought to myself as I stepped outside. I got onto the porch and began to stretch out my muscles, preparing for the run. As I was stretching, the girl from my dreams entered my thoughts once again.

Part of me wanted to see her again, but yet again, I was torn as the other half of me did not. The internal conflict that this situation caused me also cause me to be puzzled. I could not understand I would imagine something that seemed so real. Even now, I could see every detail of her in my mind. From he light green eyes, to her ivory skin, to her brilliant smile that seemed to dazzle with it's own artificial light. Not to mention that pink hair of hers! That could not be her natural hair color! It was just so exotic and beautiful the way she wore it that always made me think that she had to be real!

I shook my head at these thoughts, hoping to end them. I took another deep breath and began to run. I focused on the rhythm of my breathing, inhaling for two steps, and then exhaling for the next two, repeating this until it became automatic. I started to lose myself flashes of green and brown of trees and shrubs, the whites of the similarly painted houses of my neighborhood, the bright pink of the sun looking over the horizon...Wait...What? The sun isn't bright pink!

I stopped in my tracks, focusing now on the place where I had seen it, the foreign color on the horizon. My heart began to race again, faster than it already was as I watched her. She seemed to be running, just like me. I mentally slapped myself "Don't even think about it!", I told myself "She is just going to disappear like she always does and you are going to look like an idiot again!".

Telling myself this stopped me from sprinting after he, but not from watching her, or stopping my heart from racing. I silently waited there, waiting for her to disappear into thin air, fade into the horizon, or get caught in a tractor beam and sucked into space, or something! She didn't. I could still see her running. "Aww come on!", I say out loud, "the one time I don't chase after her! I know I could have caught her this time!". I was frustrated beyond belief. Frustrated at myself, at her, at the universe. I knew this was going to do me no good, so I just calmed myself down and began to run again.

I ran for hours, just kept running. Instead of clearing my head, this run caused my mind to run at maximum velocity. "Why can't I catch her?", "How can I love someone who doesn't even seem to be real?", "Why is this happening?". These questions hammered at me, but I didn't know the answer to any of them. The more questions that came, the faster I ran. I ran faster and faster until I was sprinting. It was then that I accidentally tripped on a curb.

I flew a few feet before I skated my shoulder across the ground. Luckily I only had a minor road rash. I groaned as I slowly stood up, gripping my shoulder. I was a block away from the house, so I began to walk toward it. My luck was running out every minute. My fall had helped clear my mind though as only one thought was in my head now.

"I will catch her"


	4. Pain

**A/N: Keep telling me what you all think about this story, I'm hoping to post at least one chapter a day for awhile, so as long as you all keep up the reviews, follows, favorites, etc. I will always deliver as quickly as possible. :D**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 4:

Pain

As I walked through the front door, my plan for catching the mystery girl started forming in my head. I looked back at the times I had seen her. She always seemed to be heading in the same direction that I was, at the same time, always taking the next corner or the next available route once I got close. A thought came to me, "Does she know that I'm chasing her? Is she playing a twisted literal game of Hard to Get just to mess with my head?", I asked myself as I rounded the corner into the bathroom. "No, that wasn't possible, she hasn't even seen me yet. Or has she?", I dismissed the thought, reaching for the materials that I would need to fix my shoulder wound. It didn't matter either way, I was still going to catch her. "Maybe I could catch her after work at the carnival? Or would I have to wait for a couple of hours?", as I had looked for her for awhile before I saw her on that street last night.

I pulled off my shirt. I wasn't as muscular as I could be, but that was okay, it made would-be assailants underestimate me, embarrassing them even more when someone smaller than them annihilated them when I used my Pencak Silat and Wing Chun skills. I pulled out the rubbing alcohol and peroxide from the cupboard beneath the sink, dabbed a cotton ball in the peroxide, and rubbed it on my shoulder, cleaning up the dried blood. It stung a little, but I had already desensitized myself to small pangs of pain very early in my life. The wound turned white and bubbled as the peroxide worked on removing the dirt in it. I waited until the bubbling stopped and wiped away the liquid. I took another cotton ball and rubbed the alcohol on it, it did not sting this time. The wound turned red and I patted it dry.

After putting away the materials and throwing away the cotton balls, I walked to the kitchen. Honestly, there was no plan I could think of that was one hundred percent fool-proof. The plan I decided to go with had multiple fail-safes in mind, increasing my chances of catching her. First, I would go straight for the Ferris wheel after I got off work, since that seemed to be where she was headed when I first laid eyes on her. If I didn't catch her there, I would walk around the carnival for awhile looking for her. Thirdly, after that couple of hours, I would walk down the same street that I usually did, except this time, I would be waiting at that corner where she turned last time, hopefully intercepting her path. That was it, I would put this plan into action the next time I went to work, which would be tomorrow night.

I pulled out the stuff I would need to make the guys tea like I always did in the morning. The thought of having to wait until tomorrow night filled me with a sense of anxiousness as I filled the tea maker with hot water. I pressed the button and the tea began to brew with a crackle. I knew that the rest of the day and the rest of tomorrow was going to suck. The next few hours were going to need to be filled with something to either get my mind off of it, or at least let the time go faster. I groaned. "That's easier said then done, I said to myself.

I sat there, pondering on how to fill up my day when Jeremy walked into the kitchen, ready for the day already, usually he was in his pajamas still, but he was dressed ready to go into town.

"Going somewhere?", I asked him, with an amused smirk on my face.

"Actually I am", he said with a joking huff, "I need to go into town so I can get everything I need for my date tomorrow night while I have the day off"

"Your date?", I asked, my interest in the conversation increasing, 'Jeremy never dates', I thought to myself.

"Don't you remember that girl I told you about that I met online? Don't you also remember that I also asked you and Odd to leave for the night so I could have the house to myself?"

That was right, Jeremy had already told me about this, I remember that I had kind of chuckled to myself, as I didn't fully believe it. Now, I could see that he was completely serious.

"Oh yeah, that's right, don't worry, me and Odd will be out of you hair, I have to work that night anyway", I said, sweeping my hands in front of me.

"Thanks", he replied, smiling "I really think she could the one for me Ulrich. I mean she is beautiful, smart, funny, she loves the same things that I do, and she she is so nice! You know usually girls take one look at me and just go "ugh", but she just... it's awesome. I honestly thought she was trying to prank me when she agreed to come here."

"That's awesome Jeremy, just don't forget to buy some gloves while you're in town", I said with a snicker.

Jeremy looked puzzled, it seemed that he did not get the joke.

"What would I need gloves f-", he began to say, but then it hit him, he blushed. "Ulrich! she's not like that, I'm not like that, you should know that by now!"

I was laughing so hard that tears were forming in my eyes. "I know Jeremy, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Your face was priceless! I wish I had taken a picture, and it took you SOOO long to get the joke, that just double the hilarity."

He groaned, but he couldn't help but smile also. "Well anyways, I'm off", he said as he took off through the door.

The next two days passed by relatively quickly, much to my relief, I also did not see the girl, even while I was running on Sunday morning, mostly since I was in the house most of the time. The next thing I knew, I was at work, halfway through my shift. The first four hours went by quickly since that was our busy time, but the next four hours were the worst, as the place was basically empty. I kept glancing at the clock, and the hands would just creep around slowly, as if it was moving through molasses.

Finally it came for me to get off work. My excitement level was skyrocketing as I changed out of my uniform into my normal clothes, a pair of jeans, a white tank top, and a button up shirt, and stuffed my uniform into my backpack. I ran to the Ferris wheel, my hands trembling and heart racing with anticipating. As I stood there, I kept imaging her just strolling through the crowd toward me, smiling her amazing smile, her pink hair blowing in the breeze.

I waited there for a few minutes, but she didn't come strolling up. "No big deal", I thought to myself, "I'll just check the rest of the carnival". I walked around the carnival, checking every nook and cranny. In my mind, I kept seeing her, but I knew this time that it was just my imagination. After awhile, I realized that she wasn't there. "Well duh, stupid", I said, face-palming myself "maybe she doesn't go to the carnival by herself every night, who would do that?", a small chuckle escaped me at my naivety. I went to the third step of my plan, waiting for her at the street she turned to the other night. My resolve was starting to wane, but I kept it up, cause I knew that I would never catch her if I just gave up.

I waited at the street corner, leaning against a pillar that connected the fence around the property behind me. As time went by, the sinking feeling that I was feeling earlier just grew deeper and more pronounced until I felt like my lungs were being crushed. I checked my phone for the time. 2315. A lump formed in my throat at the sight. "Damn it!", I yelled. A burst of anger went through me as I turned and punched the wall behind me. I heard a crunch, but as I checked the wall, my breathe ragged and flowing through clenched teeth, I noticed that the wall had no damage on it, only blood. It was then that the pain hit me. A pulsing pain that flowed through my hand, working its way up up my arm.

I immediately gripped my hand, blood was seeping between my knuckles, which were already bruised. I scolded myself for not being able to control my anger like I learned from my Sifu. I knew that she wouldn't be coming around the corner, so I walked back toward home. "Deja Vu", I said quietly to myself as I walked through the door, a note was left on the table next to the door.

_ Ulrich & Odd,_

_Went to take Aelita home. I'll be back in a little bit, don't wait up._

_If I'm not back by morning, don't worry. Haha, just kidding, I'll be back._

_ - Jeremy_


	5. Yumi

**A/N: I have been getting PMs from other authors asking me to review their work, so I feel honored that they would ask me personally to do this, which shows that they enjoy my work and respect me as a fellow author (or at least I hope that's what it means haha). But anyways, enjoy the chapter, things are starting to pick up a bit.**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 5:

_Yumi_

I put the note back down on the table, "Aelita huh?", I thought to myself "What an unusual name." I then remembered that my hand was still bleeding, it was probably broken also. A normal person would have immediately went to the hospital, but I was one of those macho guys that tried to fix my own injuries and just "walk it off". I walked into the living room. Odd was sitting on the couch, watching a movie of some sort, it was showing a talking dog on the screen. Oh how much I hated talking animal shows, animals in general for that matter. To my surprise, Yumi was there too!

"Hey Yumi!", I said, my spirits lifting a bit.

"Hello Ulrich, how was your...", she started to say, until she noticed my hand. "Ulrich, what happened to your hand?", she asked a concerned look appearing on her face.

"I, uh, fell down?", I replied stupidly, knowing fully well that she would never believe that, but I gave it a shot anyway, I didn't feel like talking about the real reason. Odd was behind her, face-palming himself, he shook his head, knowing exactly what was going to happen next.

"Bullshit you fell down!", she yelled, a hint of anger starting to overcome her concern. "We have told you time after time that if you don't learn a better way to vent that you would really hurt yourself one of these days! What did we tell you to do?", She asked in a motherly way.

"To slowly count to ten, taking deep breaths in and out the whole time..." I said, feeling like a child.

"And if that doesn't work?..."

"To stand on my head" The thought of standing on my head seems ridiculous, but it had worked on numerous occasions.

"And why didn't you do that?"

"I don't know okay?! I just reacted!", I yelled, starting to get annoyed.

Yumi seemed a little taken aback at my reaction, but she kept face. "Why were you even angry in the first place? You know what? We'll talk about that later, for now, we need to get you to the hospital, and don't you dare try to get out of it. I know you're a guy and you think you are macho, but this is just one of those time you need to be a real man and just get help."

"But-", I started

"No buts!"

She was right, and at this point, I knew I wasn't going to win this one, so I gave in.

"Okay", I said pouting a little.

She pick up her purse, dug through it and retrieved her keys. She walked past me, grabbing my hurt arm and pulling on me with it. Now I definitely would not be able to resist going as pain racked up my forearm. I winced between my clenched teeth.

"We'll be back later, okay Odd?", Yumi called out.

"Okay guys, don't have too much fun.", he said with a giggle.

"Shut up Odd!" I said as the door shut behind us.

We got into her car and buckled our seat belts. Yumi checked her rear view mirror as she began to pull out of the garage.

"Seriously Ulrich, what made you so made that you had to mess up your hand like that? It's probably broken!", she said with a little less edge to her voice.

"I... can't tell you", I said.

"What? Of course you can tell me, what would you give you that idea?", she asked, concern was starting to be the dominant emotion in her voice again. I debated about what would happen if I told her, but she was an even better lie detector than Odd, so I knew I couldn't lie, maybe she could even help me with this mystery girl. I mean, who better to ask for help in that case than a girl right?

"Well okay. It was about this girl that I saw", I finally said.

Surprise was etched on her face this time. It seems like she was expecting totally different.

"A girl huh?", she asked "Who?"

"I don't know! That's part of the thing."

I began to tell her the whole story, from the first night I saw her, to my chasing her that night. When I chased her the morning after, about the plan I came up with. I told her about how my plan was a failure and at the last stop in my plan, I just couldn't take the frustration, so I hit a cement column. By the time I finished with my story, we had arrived at the hospital. We walked up to the front desk, got checked in and waited. We didn't have to wait too long as nobody else was waiting. The doctor took X-Rays of my hand and confirmed that it was indeed fractured. It was only a minor fracture though so I would not need the full cast and have to keep on for 3 months.

They wrapped up my hand with a brace and put it in an arm sleeve. I was to be like that for only a couple of weeks, much to my relief. Yumi was silent the whole time, I assumed from trying to come up with a way to help me in my predicament. We got to her car and she drove along the way back to my house.

"So do you even know if she is real?", she asked as she drove.

"Well, I'm not ENTIRELY sure, but I mean, come on, my imagination is not that good! I felt the Spark, you know what that means to me."

"I know, but honestly, even if she is real, your plan wasn't very good in the first place. I mean what if that was the only time she was going to go to the carnival? What if she was walking to a party that night and never goes back down that street? What if she is only a tourist and you never see her again?"

She stopped at a red light and a cold ache formed in my chest, getting deeper and more painful as the what-ifs kept coming at me. Those were all good points, and I probably would have never thought of them. The last one especially made my heart sink, what if that was true. What if I never saw her again? The light turned green.

"Ulrich, I know that you felt the Spark, but you have to think about those things. I don't want you to be hurt. You know how bad it hurts me when I see you hurt, especially by other girls." She reached over and patted my back with her arm.

I lowered my head. I hated it when this kind of stuff happened, I'm supposed to be the strong one. I'm supposed to be the one doing what Yumi was doing for me. She moved her hand onto mine, taking a few glances at me while still keeping track of the road.

"I'll tell you what, I'll help you find out if she is real. If she is, you are going to need some help if you are to woo her, you are a mess. If she is not... Well I'll help you get over her, just like with all the other ones okay?", she said, a small smile appearing.

"Thanks Yumi, you are always there for me",I said, my lips curving upward also into a sort of half smile. I loved the way she was always there for me, a part of me felt a pang of guilt as I never was there in the same way for her. It wasn't necessarily because I was too selfish, everybody had a little bit of selfishness in them, but because she didn't seem to ever need me in that way. That is, unless she hid it very well. Yumi was starting to say something, and we were nearing my house, so I stopped my thinking to hear her.

"...ways, I will see you tomorrow okay? I will be at the cafe after I get off work and we can work together too see if we can get you two to meet.", she said.

"Sounds good Yumi, thanks again for everything.", I said, as I got out of her car.

I started to make my way toward the door, when she rolled down her window.

"Remember what I told you about your damn anger! It's going to be the end of you if you aren't careful!", she yelled.

"I know... MOM!", I said with a chuckle. I knew that she despised begin called "mom". "Drive safe Yumi. Text me when you get back home so I know you got back safe okay?"

"Okay...DAD!", she said with a giggle, "Good night Ulrich."


	6. The Magic Words

**A/N: Okay, so I'm a bit disappointed in my last chapter, so I'm going to try to make this one better.**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 6:

_The Magic Words_

The next day after work, Yumi met me at my usual table. The usual couples were passing in front of us coming to or leaving the carnival, just like always. Tonight felt different to me. For some reason, all I could feel was indifference for the situation I was in. I mean the situation was honestly starting to look hopeless for me, and it was causing a melting pot of emotions. I was frustrated, sad, nervous. and hopeful, but a part of me just wanted this to be over, not caring that I would be alone still. I always hated the idea of giving up, so I decided to give it another try with Yumi.

I turned my head to face her. "So what are going to do?", I asked her.

"It's simple", she replied with a smile "We are going to wait."

"Wait for what?", A confused look appearing on my face.

"We are going to wait for her to come to you", she replied simply, as if it were obvious.

I was even more confused than just a second ago. What would cause her to come to me? The idea was ludicrous.

"No offense Yumi, but that is stupid", I said plainly.

She laughed, "None taken, but as for this being stupid, you couldn't be farther from the truth. The girl of your dreams will be here."

"Okay...", I said "if even she does come to me, what am I going to say?"

"You will say the magic words", she said with a hint of sarcastic dramatics

"What are the magic words?", I asked in the same same way.

"Come closer, we don't want anyone else hearing the magic words now do we?", she said

I decided to play along and leaned in closer so that my ear was less than an inch away from her lips. I could feel her warm breath on my ear. My spine tingled, sending a slight shiver through my body. 'What the hell was that?', I thought to myself, a blush crept its way up my cheeks, I tried to fight it.

"You just go...", she paused "Ooh...eeh...ooh...ahh...ahh...ting...tang...walla ...walla...bing, bang"

'What in the world did I just hear?' my frustation was building as I began to think that Yumi wasn't really taking this seriously. Here I was, losing my mind it seemed, and she wanted to play tricks? What kind of friend-? It was then I remembered that silly song that me and Yumi used to listen to after we had found it surfing the internet one day. The memories made feel light and nostalgic, despite myself. The corners of my lips curling up into a smile, which I was trying hard to stop from happening. She must have the seen the shadow of my inner thoughts on my face, so she continued.

"Okay I'm joking, but you never know, it might work if you try it. Do you not remember that song?", she asked giggling.

"Well of course I remember it, but it's just been so long and that was the last thing I was expecting!", I said, also laughing now "but seriously, what am I going to say?"

"We'll get to that when we get to it.", she said seriously.

I knew that I wasn't going to get it out of here, so I just dropped the subject. My nervousness was increasing every minute. All I could see in my head was her standing in front of me, but I could not form in any words in my mouth, my mouth only hanging there stupidly agape. She would then laugh at me, turn away and leave. I shoved the image from my head. Small talk was exchanged between me and Yumi as we watched for the girl. Yumi was doing most of the talking as I was focused on the crowd in front of me, looking for a glimpse of that pink hair, or a flash of those beautiful green eyes.

After an hour of just watching the crowd, the all too familiar pit in my stomach was forming yet again. Even Yumi was starting to worry for me, or that is what seemed like. She kept glancing me, biting her lip, it was something she always did when she was nervous or anxious. She liked to think her face was unreadable and that she had bearing resembling the famous Queen's Guard that annoying American tourists like to test so much.

"Don't worry, she will come", she reassured me, more confidence in her voice than I expected. So much more confidence, that it almost seemed fake.

Something in her voice made me think that she knew something, something that I didn't. Before I could put more thought into this, she jumped out of her chair, almost knocking it backwards.

"Well, I'm hungry, and that funnel cake smells delicious! I won't be too long, would you like any?", she asked, quickly walking toward the carnival food stands.

"No thanks Yumes, but-", I had already lost her in the crowd. 'Girls and their weird cravings' I thought to myself.

I sat there, still watching the crowds. I tried to pop my knuckles for like the seventh time in that last hour, a nervous habit I have myself, and it was starting to make my hands ache. 'This can't be healthy', I thought, so I forced myself to stop, against the wishes of my brain.

All of a sudden, my heart stopped. There she was, the beautiful girl I had been seeing in my mind's eye for the past few days, and much to my disbelief, she was walking right toward me! Just like Yumi said! My breathing rate increased to near hyperventilation, my palms began to sweat. My nervousness skyrocketed and I felt nauseous. The girl was right in the middle of the crows, heading straight for the cafe.

'Okay Ulrich', I told myself 'play it cool, calm yourself, otherwise you are just going to look like an idiot'. I slowed my breathing, my heart rate declined, but only a little. My palms were still sweating like mad and I had started trying to pop my knuckles again.

I got out of my chair, my legs felt like noodles as I walked toward her. I slowly made my way through the crowd, keeping my eye on her, determined not to lose her this time. I heard multiple say "Watch it kid", but I ignored them, they were just stupid people. My excitement started to rise along with nervousness, making for a terrible combination. I got closer and closer, until I was only three feet away from her. I pushed through the last person. The sight I saw in front of me caught me WAY off guard.


	7. Be Great

**A/N: I am terribly sorry for making you all have to wait on what happens next, hopefully this chapter soothes your hunger for now, bon appetit! (haha a little weird I know, but I hope you enjoy the chapter nonetheless)**

**I DO NOT OWN CODE LYOKO, IT IS PROPERTY OF MOONSCOOP.**

Chapter 7:

_Be Great_

There, standing right in front of me, was Yumi. My jaw dropped slightly as I rubbed my eyes, hard. I removed my hands from my eyes, and there she was, still walking towards me. I couldn't believe it. I had lost her yet again!

"Hey Ulrich", she said giggling "Couldn't wait huh?"

"Yumi, I just saw her!"

"Saw wh- Oh! Where?", she asked

Something about the way she asked it was off, but I shoved the thought away.

"Right where you are, she was literally right were you are standing right now! I saw her milliseconds before I saw you!", I said, pointing at her feet. I had said it a little too loudly as a few people turned their heads towards me, but they went back to their business.

"Okay Ulrich, calm down. She can't have gotten far, which way was she walking?", she asked looking around.

"Right towards me!", I said pointing toward myself.

"Well then she may have just went around you!", she said demonstrating with her arm.

So I turned around and tried to find some higher ground. A part of me knew something was up, but the stronger part of me believed Yumi was right and she had just gone around me. I found a stone barrier about waist high and wide enough for us both to stand on. I climbed on top of the barrier and began to scan the crowd. Yumi did the same.

"I don't see her Yumi!, I said, squinting my eyes farther into the crowd.

"I don't either Ulrich, maybe..."

"Maybe what?", I asked, still fratnically searching.

After a few more moments of searching, "Maybe you just... think you saw her", she said solemnly.

The idea of it began to sink in.

"Maybe you never actually saw her, maybe she is only a figment of your imagination..."

Time seemed to flow at an unbearably slow crawl. I wanted to yell at her for saying such blasphemous things, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Looking back at all of it, it would make sense that she was only a part of my imagination. I know I've had this conversation with myself before, but this time, the odds of her being real were lowering everyday, dwindling down to nothing.

The realization of this hit me hard, overcoming my entire body. There was no longer a pit in my stomach, I didn't feel any icy stabs to my heart, or even a weight on my chest. The weird thing was, I didn't feel anything. I felt numb. Yumi was saying something to me, but all I could hear was a low vibration in place of her words.

I climbed off the barrier, lowering my head to the ground as I began to walk. I walked toward the exit of the carnival. Yumi was looking the other direction when I stepped off, as she turned back around she saw me and jumped down herself. She ran toward me, grabbing my shoulder when she reached me. I felt her touch and stopped. The contact had no warmth, nor chill, just pressure.

I turned around to look at her and shook my head. I then pushed her hand off my shoulder and began to sprint. She stood still there for a moment, in a sort of shock, but recovered and ran after me. She was yelling something, but I couldn't hear her as I was already too far away. I jumped over railings, tables, people, any obstacle in my way. All I could think about was "I need to get away". I didn't know exactly what I was trying to get away from or how far away I needed to get, so I just kept running. I ran past my house, past Yumi's house, through downtown, I just ran.

When I finally stopped, my legs were burning, and my knees were shaking. I could feel my blood pump through my head. I dry heaved as I leaned with one arm against a tree. I fell to my knees, slamming my arms on the ground and buried my head in my hands. I was expecting tears to flow down my face, but none came. It was then I began to realize what was happening. My emotions were beginning to shut down again.

I knew deep down my emotions shutting down was a bad thing, but the thought kept on getting beat down deeper, ever deeper into my subconscious until it was eventually obliterated. I slowly opened my eyes. When I raised my head again, I took a look around and found out where I was. I was outside the graveyard where my grandfather was buried. Without thinking I opened the gate. Even though the darkness concealed most of the gravestones, I knew by heart where my grandfather's was.

I came to a stop in front of a small stone, taking a knee as I read the words I also knew by heart.

_HERE LIES:_

_DOMINIK GUSTAF STERN_

_A LOVING HUSBAND, FATHER, AND GRANDFATHER_

_A BRAVE SOLDIER_

_A GREAT MAN_

_1946 - 1994_

I had never known the man, as he had died when I was a baby, but I still liked to imagine him when I was a kid. When I did, he was always telling me stories, giving me advice. When I got older, I realized these stories and little pieces of advice, although very useful, were just my imagination...

My imagination... something good had come out of it. A lot of good things had come out of it, but this time...

As I was kneeling in front of the gravestone, thinking these things, my grandfather stood there, shaking his head.

"What's wrong kiddo?", he asked with a smile.

My head snapped up, my eyes locking on his. My face was blank, unreadable, but his was full of wisdom and happiness.

"You're not real", I said, lowering my head back to the ground.

"Be that as it may, there is something very real that is happening to you, something terrible. Being a soulless husk of the man you are is not a way to live.", he said

"I don't care anymore. These emotions, these feelings, all those things are worthless! Nothing good ever comes out of it", I said

"You know that is not true Ulrich", he said, shaking his head. "These emotions were a gift to humankind. These emotions give us the ability to be...more. More than just a system of organs working together. Emotions such as happiness, anger, sadness, and others like them are the basis for other feelings. Feelings such as motivation... drive... purpose. These feelings give humans the ability to overcome the worst obstacles, the ability to face their fears and their failures to become..._great_. Don't throw this gift away Ulrich, even if it continues to bring you down, you have to carry on. Because in the end, it's not going to matter how hard you got beat down, but how you always got back up despite being afraid of being brought down again. How you always get back up and into the fight no matter how bloodied up, or tired you are.

Because that's what life is. One huge fight. Against your fears, your failures, the obstacles of daily life. And as life goes on, you are going to find out the fights get easier and easier as you learn how to overcome these enemies. There will always be new fears, new failures, new obstacles, but I know you are strong and you can overcome anything life throws at you. Not only because you are a man, but because you are Ulrich Stern."

I raised my head and looked back into his eyes. His eyes were flooded with tears, but behind those tears and in his voice was a burning passion, full of wisdom. I then noticed my eyes were tearing up too. I felt a warmth in my chest, and I knew he was right.

"Thanks grandpa, I love you", I said, a huge smile covering my face.

"I love you too kiddo", he said "Now, go my grandson, and be great"

"I will grandpa!", I said as I leaped away from the stone and began to sprint down the path I came from.

"I know you will kiddo", he said as he faded away from sight.


End file.
